Using tumblr is like living in a low class apartment building. You just get used to the landlord not fixing things, and then someone new moves in and you’re helpfully like “oh yeah don’t drink the tap water, it’s got stuff in it that makes you sick” and then your neighbor you’ve had forever goes “oh they took the stuff out actually” and you’re like “what? when was this?”
“like two years ago”
“you mean i could’ve been drinking the tap water all this time?”
“yeah. they gave us individual mailboxes too finally, you don’t have to dig through the communal bin anymore”
“are you for real right now?? i just redirected my mail, i didnt know”
and the new tennant is like “why did you guys even live here if it was so bad”
“we like it.”
“I kinda miss the communal mail bin tho”
“the perpetually naked guy got evicted though”
“i know, so sad. he was really gross”
“i mean, his cousin streaks through the commons sometimes and knocks on all the doors”
“oh yeah, hate that guy”
New Person: I just saw this weird guy in the lobby in a really creepy anthropomorphic Pikachu costume??????
Old Resident: yeah we have no idea where that guy came from. We’ve left messages with maintenance ‘bout ‘im but-
Other Old Resident: just don’t make eye contact and you should be fine.
“what are these strange markings in the paint?”
“Oh! Thats from the crab infestation!”
“The crab infestation?! Wow, glad they got that under control before I moved in.”
“Oh, no no, it was an intentional infestation.”
“Uh….”
“Yeah, we’re hoping they bring the crabs back next year. A lot of us made friends with those crabs.”
No, I’m not joking, he doesnt just look like him, I swear to God neil gaiman lives across the hall.
The apartment building throws holiday parties but not typical parties like for Christmas or Valentine’s day
Knives are decorating the walls for the Ides Of March.
There’s a community movie night held on October 3rd where tenants choose to watch either Mean Girls or binge watch all of Fullmetal Alchemist.
Every single apartment opens their windows and blasts Earth, Wind, and Fire on the 21st of September
November 5th rolls around and the entire building just erupts into inexplicable chaos
“What’s with the floor?”
“Color theory. Don’t worry about it.”
“Why is the cemetery across the street partially dug up?”
“Ah, yeah, there was a problem with grave robbing witches a while back.”
shoutout to the tenth doctor spending his final five episodes in the throes of a grief-induced god complex rampage, gotta be one of my favorite genders
If you are not on Twitter but are interested in what’s going on with Elon Musk’s Twitter, never fear, I am back as your Twitter Correspondent.
So, on Thursday, 4/20, Elon removed all the “legacy verified” blue checks. That means that if you are, say, Taylor Swift or the Pope, and you have a blue checkmark because you have proven you identity and want to avoid being impersonated, that check mark went away unless you paid the $8 to subscribe to Twitter Blue.
The assumption was clearly that, despite all their blustering, when push came to shove the power users would nut up and pay for it, if only to avoid their fans being scammed using their likeness.
That didn’t happen. As of 4/21, only weirdo Elon stans had blue checks. Those stans immediately got mad, because they had intended to purchase access to an exclusive club, and all the cool kids left as soon as they arrived.
To make matters worse for Elon, several influential shitposters began posting about #BlockTheBlue, a movement to block all paid Twitter bluechecks, and some even released scripts that would automatically block all bluecheck accounts for you.
However, some people retained their blue checks who swore they hadn’t paid for them – in particular, Stephen King and LeBron James, who had tweeted that they would refuse to pay.
Elon admitted that he had paid for these users’ blue checks out of his own pocket. Is he trolling? Is it a weird simp move? Hard to say.
Now, as of 4/22, a whole mess of famous people have bluechecks who aren’t paying for them. This seems to be a move to confound the automated Block The Blue scripts. Lil Nas X is tweeting angrily about how he doesn’t want his blue check. People are speculating that a new policy has been silently rolled out to automatically assign a blue check to every user with over 1 million followers. Several people have pointed out that this amounts to false endorsement, i.e. implying falsely that a notable person uses or endorses your product without their permission, which is a crime. Blue checks have been posthumously assigned to Anthony Bourdain and Terry Pratchett, whose estates my money is on to be the ones to actually sue.
dril, famous shitposter and Black The Blue promoter, keeps being assigned a blue check as an apparent punishment for crossing Elon, but you can lose your blue check by changing your display name, so dril just keeps changing his display name every time they bluecheck him. Elon and dril have been engaged in this game of cat and mouse all day. The “Elon bans dril and we all throw trash at him like New Yorkers defending spiderman” meme will probably come to fruition today or tomorrow.
Sometimes the rats in my brain come together and start yelling “YEARNING” and in trying to appease them I ask “FOR WHAT” but they are too small so all they can say is “YEARNING” which is a very big word for such a tiny creature, even collectively
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